Sex and Church

Well, we've hit on the topics of Men and Church, and then Kids and Church... Why not Sex and Church?

So... here we go.

Sex is shameful.

Masturbation is dirty.

Lust is sinful.

Notice a trend here? Churches really corner the market on telling people to wait until marriage for sex. Sure, I believe that the statistics point out that there is no noticeable difference in churched and unchurched kids having sex, but the fact is that "Sex is Baaaad" is a common theme in American churchianity. Perhaps the only statistical difference is the degree of guilt after-the-fact.

While 90% of the sex talk is centered around abstinence before marriage and faithfulness within marriage, there MIGHT be 10% that mentions, "And oh, yeah, sex is a *good* thing within marriage. God made it, so it's good, and, uh, stuff. But make sure you wait! And make sure you don't look at other women lustfully! Or PORN! That's really bad! And, uh, hey? You women? Dress modestly, because all men (even the Christians!) are pretty much ruled by their johnsons, so it's your responsibility to wear turtlenecks and baggy pants, lest the men be overcome by their lustful ways!"

Or something like that.

Let's face it, the church has conned generations of people into thinking that anything sexual is shameful. You can't just go from hearing these things your whole life, into having a ring on your finger and your mind doing a complete 180.

"Great, I'm married now! Anything goes! No guilt, no shame, no more worries, and no more problems! Everything will be perfect now!"

A great deal of Christian couples DO have premarital sex, and then they deal with the guilt of that for many years within their marriage.

A great deal of Christian couples have sexual struggles within their marriages that are never discussed.

A great deal of Christian women are taught that being nonsexual is virtuous.

A great deal of Christian men are taught that sexual thought and desire is of the devil.

And just out of curiosity, how many here have heard an in-depth sermon from the pulpit on I Corinthians 7:1-5? A show of hands? Anyone?

How many Christian couples are sleeping in separate bedrooms? How many are going months or years without having sex? And how many children are growing up, seeing THAT as their model of Christian marriage?

We know that God made sex and it is something that is good, but I sometimes wonder if premarital counseling at churches should actually be some sort of intensive deprogramming from years of "Thou shall nots." I once heard someone say that regarding all-things sex, God is cast in the role of The Great Frustrator.

It's about time that the church get a lot more candid.